If a few years ago my stars had said, "you will in the future be writing for a music website and reviewing a film about a killer vagina" I would have immediately stopped taking drugs and reading my stars. Kicking both habits is easier said than done and I am indeed going to tell you about Wolfgang Buld's dark little tale Penetration Angst, which is also available from Salvation. To say I was in a vicelike grip from beginning to end of this 100 minute movie would be an understatement. I noticed the Isle Of Wight location straight away and not from the sea view but from the exterior pub shot as I had drunk in here a year ago (says a lot really) We meet Helen played with aplomb by Fiona Horsey who is not having much in the way of luck with men. In fact every bloke she meets on this rather bizarre road movie is a completely immoral sleazeball. The one exception is Dennis (Paul Conway) who is a nerdy virginal stalker and follows her round like a little lost puppy. She at first tries not to have sex but it really is difficult to say no when you are spread with your arse in the air and your head trapped in a car window. One can only laugh when the so-called boyfriend disappears leaving nothing but a pile of clothes behind. The Dr is next when he takes his bedside manner a bit too far after drugging our heroine. We also meet her wheelchair bound stepfather who spies on Helen in the shower and catches her in the act of feeding her hungry pussy with a large sausage. The subtext of her trauma is unveiled during the course of the movie and her step dad has quite a lot to do with her curious medical condition. By now her growling pudenda is demanding to be fed and Dennis being a shy sensitive type turns down Helens desperate advances and she does what every sensible girl would do in her position, fleeing to Soho and going on the game. The clients don't stand a chance as she tells them, "once you have been up my pussy you will never need another one again". Some very amusing encounters see Helen amassing enough clo
thes from her punters to keep Oxfam going for a long time but things go tits up when she falls into the clutches of an evil sadist. Her predicament reminded me a bit of Stephen Kings Gerald's Game as Helen finds herself in a dungeon trapped and tied to a bed. The sadist had decided to give her killer cleft a good old licking and discovered that this lass literally sucked in the sack.
Dennis in the meantime has come to London looking for her and fallen in love with one half of conjoined twins. Her name is Silvia but whilst he gets intimate her other half Sonia really puts a spanner in the works with her crude demeanour. Poor old Dennis finally gets his rocks off but accidentally (Siamese twins look the same from behind) shags the wrong one. Before you can say careful with that electric carving knife Eugene, tragedy ensues and the twins are now separated with Sonia shuffling off this mortal coil. A good old London Bobby who she marries rescues Helen and they head off on Honeymoon to (yep) The Isle Of Wight. Unfortunately her knicker sniffing husband wants nothing more than to shag her, but for obvious reasons she wont let him. As she still has to satisfy her urges however his dad isn't quite so lucky. Dennis meets a stripper who knows all about an easy bank job and heads off with her to (you guessed it) The Isle Of Wight. All parties meet up for the inevitable bloodbath of an ending and you even get the chance to discover that yoghurt is a great cure for a sunburnt knob. If you want to find out how the hell that ends up in the plot though you will have to watch the film itself.
For a fairly low budget film the acting in Penetration Angst is superb. The main cast members handle some very difficult scenes with ease. The tart with a heart Pinky, played by Jaye Macauley quickly becomes the tart without a heart after shooting a copper in the bank raid. From that moment she steals every scene she is in with a zealous determination to escape with the money (and if possible get laid whilst doing so). Fiona Horsey oozes sexuality in her scenes and looks absolutely stunning especially in her street work clobber. Despite what you have read here this is not actually an exploitative movie for the dirty mac brigade. There are no lingering gynaecological shots or any of actual penetration. The camera lingers at all times, but is happy to give the suggestion of what is happening rather than go for the money shots. As for the money shots themselves there are none of those as nobody gets the chance to ejaculate in this film. The gore kind of catches you by surprise as there are only really a few scenes with any in, but when it does run, it literally gushes. I would have said that Penetration Angst was a completely unique film but being a purveyor of odd films like this I can only say that it bears remarkable similarities to Alain Robak's 1990 film Baby Blood. This is a film where a circus performer is impregnated by a freak and has a rather bizarre creature gestating in her uterus demanding constant feeding. Baby Blood is however far more violent as when it feeds this little critter is after the blood only which it messily ingests. Century Media's finest bands are all utilised for the music score and the likes of Flowing Tears, Tiamat and Lacuna Coil are all featured. I cannot really ignore the chance of writing the words Cristina Scabbia and Killer Vagina in the same sentence if only to see what the result of doing so will have on our web stats. An interesting and informative 24-minute making of feature is included on the DVD complete with insight from cast and crew and some amusing filming
blo ops. Wolfgang is hard at work on his next film Lovesick and you metal fans out there will be pleased to know that Stampin Ground will be appearing in it. In the meantime Penetration Angst comes highly recommended.
You can order PENETRATION ANGST direct by mail from Salvation Films online shop or at amazon.co.uk
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